✨2024✨

Resolutions, baby. Annual reminders of who I would be if I wasn’t me. I’d be fitter and more productive and ropin’ the moon and sleeping nightly from 10 pm to 6 am and all that jazz.

I am me, though. And I like me. This is not a self-care mantra. I’ve been through that phase and it was useful. Now, I’m just wholly uninterested in dealing with the scoundrel that is self-dissatisfaction.

There’s a Sanskrit saying neti, neti which means neither this, nor that. Sometimes the best way to figure out what something is is by figuring out what it is not.

The practice of listing resolutions annually has helped me get clear about what I’m not. I’m not someone who is going to change through sheer willpower. Temporarily, sure. But what good is change if it only lasts three months? I’ll give you a clue what it’s good for and it starts with S and ends in elf-dissatisfaction. None for me, thanks.

Instead of making a list of what to improve or change about myself, I’ll be focusing solely on awareness. A ruthless commitment to observation. Awareness is the opposite of lazy-think. Awareness means seeing each person, place, thing in its present moment of freshness.

I’ve given so much credit where credit is not due. I have admired many people who are bookish but not wise.

Wisdom is to be sensitive to each situation, and each person in the present moment. To not carry over information from the past.

Not an easy task.

Here’s a life hack you can take to the bank: if you want to change something about yourself, do the work to understand. The work of awareness.

If I’m trying to change what I am into what I should be, I’m not dealing with reality. With what is. Change comes easy peasy lemon squeezy when it is born out of understanding.

I’m not talking about analyzing. I’m good at analyzing myself. I’m great at analyzing others. I have lots of practice. The thing about analyzing is that it doesn’t require action.

I’m talking about observing. Observing my conditioning, conventions, prejudices, projections, and labels. Observing my illusions, delusions, errors, and attachments.

Phew. Quite the list.

I’d like to understand each present reality so that I can work with it. Not so that I can become someone else, but very simply put, so that I can remove any barriers to change and to growth so that they come naturally from understanding.

This will require an alert and disciplined mind. But I can't redeem things that I hide from. I can only redeem things I’m willing to look at square in the face.

Hello, 2024.